Kristofer's Quotes

Many of these quotes were recorded in emails that I sent from Neuchatel, Switzerland to Kristofer's grandmother, Doris Brown in Washington state USA. If dates and times are includeded they are the dates and times of the emails.

Kristofer was born in December of 1992. All the quotes date to 1999 and 2000 when Kristofer was six years old and then the beginning of his seventh. year. We were living in Neuchatel, Switzerland.

As far as I could tell Kristofer made these statements or asked these questions in all seriousness. He wasn't trying to be cute, though he certaining was that.

Did I record them because what he said was cute? Yes in part, but also for two other reasons.

A little kid tries to figure the world. It is interesting, actually facinating, catching a glimpse now and then of that process.

Secondly, I recorded Kristofer's sayings because I love him so much. Capturing his saysings was one way this dad had of capturing the childhood of a kid he loved. And his mom was doing the same thing. And of course, I still love Kristofer with the same intensity now as I did then.

Lennart Holmquist
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
2012

Not Your Servants

Monday, March 29, 1999 9:07 AM

We have been attempting to get Kristofer to do things for himself, such as get juice out of the refrigerator himself and mix it in a glass with water. He is so used to having things done for him when he was smaller and not cable of doing it, that he is finding the change in lifestyle a little difficult to understand. About three weeks ago when I was putting him to bed he asked me to do something that he could very easily do himself.

"Kristofer, you can do that yourself. You needn't ask me to do it. You know, Mom and I are not your servants."

He looked up at me, wide-eyed and said (quite sincerely it seemed to me.

"You're not ? !"

My Body My Desison

Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 1999 11:01 AM

"Kristofer and I went to IKEA the week before last I think it was. We first had Swedish meatballs, french fries and a drink in the cafe and then did some shopping for shelving and a few other odds and ends. At the end of this we checked out and got a soft ice cream just opposite the cash registers. There were no chairs available so we leaned up against a post, licked our ice creams and talked."

"You know why I like going to Ikea, Kristofer?"

"No, Dad."

"It reminds me of my Swedish roots. Culturally, I'm part Swedish, so this feels like home. And, you are part Swedish too. In fact, you look very Swedish. If you were in Sweden you would fit right in. You look Swedish because you look surprisingly very much like me when I was a kid."

Kristofer wasn't saying much, so I went right on talking.

"You look much like me, but of course you don't have a beard. You might have a beard later when you get older, if you decide to have one. So, you might or might not. Of course, you might have a girl friend by then and she might either want you to have a beard or not have one. If shedoesn't want you to have a beard you might decide not to have one, just to make her happy."

"Dad, its my body, and my desision." (Kristofer's pronunciation of decision is with two 's' sounds.)

I didn't expect the answer and just laughed out-loud.

"You know, I kind of agree with you."

After a little while we were done with our ice cream cones. We loaded the car, exited the crowded parking lot of IKEA, and headed back for Neuchatel.

Hot Dog Cookin'

Sent: Tuesday, March 02, 1999 7:19 AM

Last week or so Jill, Kristofer's mom, took Kristofer and another kid about Kristofer's age to a Mozart concert. A friend of Jill's was singing in the concert and Jill decided to go to show support, but also to bring the friend's daughter who had never seen her mother perform.

I didn't attend. I wanted to get things done at home. The concert was held in the auditorium of a rock music club. This was the first time they had classic music presented. The turnout was excellent, the auditorium full. However, ventilation was not good, and the auditorium was warm and stuffy. When Jill and Kristofer came home I aske d Kristofer how he liked the concert. Rather than commenting on the music he commented on the temperature.

"Dad, it was really hot. I was like a hot dog cookin'."

Mouth Changes

Sent: Tuesday, February 23, 1999 11:28 AM

I asked Kristofer why he doesn't like hot dogs anymore. (Actually he had just gotten over the flu which is why, I think, h e didn't have an appetite for them at the time).

"Your mouth changes for every age you are -so now I don't like hot dogs anymore."

Favorite Kid

Two evenings ago. Kristofer came over to sit on my lap. I gave him a big hug and said:

"Do you know who my favorite kid is in the WHOLE world?"

"Yes, that's ME !"

"WHAT?! How did you know that?!"

"Because I'm very special to you."

Sweatin' Dog, Surprised, Gas

A few weeks ago Kristofer was pulling his sled through the snow up a hillside. It was hard work. He has a favorite expression when he is working hard.

Kristofer: Whew! I'm sweatin' like a dog!

I love the expression and want him to feel free to use it again, so have never told him that dogs don't sweat

Another expression he uses cracks me up. I can't figure out how he thought it up. He uses it when he is surprised by something. For instance one day we were driving down the highway and went over an unexpected bump in the road.

Kristofer from the back seat... "Whew! THAT scared my penis."

Burp Butts

Kristofer has his own expression for passing gas. I don't know where he got this expression either. Perhaps it was a logical description that he came up with himself. He used it last a month or two ago when he was having problems with gas in school. He came up to me one evening and said to me in a serious tone of voice.

Kristofer: Dad, I got a problem.

Dad: Yes, what is it Kristofer?

Kristofer: I'm having problems with burp butts at school. (Kristofer has used this term ever since he was quite small -perhaps 3 years old. He may have begun saying it in the opposite order, i.e., butt burps which makes more sense, but sometime early in his personal history the words got switched around to 'burp butts'. I've always like the term because it is so descriptive.

Dad: When did you start having problems with burp butts in school?

Kristofer: Ever since I started school.

Kristofer normally doesn't have problems with gas so I thought I would question him further on it. It was evidently a big concern to him. I wanted to find a solution.

Dad: Do you have problems at school or at day care ?

Kristofer: Mmmm. Both. Mmmm usually at day care actually. I have burp butts and they stink. The other kids point at me and say that I did it.

Dad: What do you say?

Kristofer: I always say it wasn't me.

Perhaps he just shook his head no. I don't think he knew at the timehow to say in French 'it wasn't me'. We hadn't been living in Switerzerland very long yet. If he did say it in French, his French language was doing better than I had expected.

Dad: Mmmm. You know. Brup butts are often caused by things that you eat. Like beans. I know that the day care gives you lunch before they take you back to school. Is there something they give you at day care that you don't usually eat at home?

Kristofer: Ya, salad. I don't like salad but the teachers make me eat it. They tell us we have to eat everything that they give us.

Dad: I'll ask mom to talk to the teachers and suggest they don't make you eat salad and see if that takes care of it. OK?

Kristofer: OK Dad.

I talked to Jill about the problem and she spoke to the teachers at the day care. Kristofer was excused from having to eat salad. And... that was indeed the problem. Kristofer no longer had problems with butt burps at school.

Sent: Friday, February 19, 1999 11:00 AM

When My Back is Down

A few nights ago I got a little upset with Kristofer because he had spilled some board game pieces on the floor just before he was to hop into bed for the night. The day before he had spilt juice in the living room twice in five minutes and that had upset me too.

Actually, the problem was more that I was tired and not feeling too well after being sick with the flu twice in 3 weeks. Admitting to myself that a little kid of six is not going to always be perfectly coordinated and it was more a problem with me than with him, I gave Kristofer a hug and said that I wasn't upset anymore and everything was OK. He climbed into bed and I laid down next to him (as I or Jill usually does until he drops off to sleep), and turned off the light. As usual too we had our little conversation in the darkness. I thought I would ask him about how he feels when I get upset with him about something.

Dad: Do you get sad when I get angry with you about something?

Kristofer: Sometime I get mad too.

Dad: Ya, its OK to get mad sometimes. When you get sad could you come up and talk to me and tell me you are sad? Sometimes you hide how you are feeling. You look like everything is OK, but actually it may not be. You may be sad but you don't look like it. When I was a kid I remember my dad getting mad at me and it would make me very sad, but I wouldn't say anything. I would like you to tell me if you are sad.

Kristofer: If I try to tell you I might cry.

Believe it or not, this answer rather surprised me. I didn't realize that my being upset had this affect on him. Now I was sad.

Dad: That's OK if you cry. I just need to know somehow.

Kristofer: OK. This is how you can tell, when I walk away and my back is down you can tell if I am sad.

Dad: You mean if your shoulders are hunched ove?

Kristofer: Ya, that's what I mean.

Dad: OK. I'll try to see when your back is down. I don't want you to be sad.

Kristofer rolled over, put his arm around me and said, "You are the best dad there is."

This little conversation humbled me. I saw I needed to be more careful with being upset, and be more careful with his feelings. It was a good lesson for me.

Cheeks

Date: Sun, Nov 15, 1998, 23:18

A new animated Hercules movie had come out fairly recently. Kristofer had both the CD Hercules game for his computer and the movie on video tape cassette. I was putting him to bed for the night when he asked me about Hercules and himself.

Do you wish I was like Hercules?

No, I like you just the way you are.

Really? Hercules is real strong.

Yes, but I still like you the way you are.

I like Hercules face. I don't like my face.

Why don't you like your face ?

My cheeks are too big.

I laughed and Kristofer started laughing.

Dad: You have a very nice face. You're cheeks are not too wide.

Kristofer: Yes, they are. I saw them in the mirror.

Dad: Even if they were wide, wide cheeks make a person look strong.

Kristofer: What if my cheeks were so big that I couldn't even walk ?

Dad: I've never seen you have any trouble walking, so your cheeks are fine.

Kristofer laughed as did I. In a few minutes he was asleep.

'Accident' at School

Sent Friday, February 05, 1999 8:35

Kristofer had an 'accident' at school the other day.

Problem is Kristofer is too reluctant at this point to speak any French though he knows the French word for restroom. So rather than tell the teacher he has to go he tries to hold it. To compound the problem, he is reluctant to use the bathroom at his daycare. (Kristofer goes to a daycare twice a week for 3 hours during the mid-day break at school.) Being very modest Kristofer does not want to use the daycare bathroom because the bathroom doesn't have a lock on it, and the other kids can walk right in. And, again he is reluctant to ask. Add to that is the fact the daycare teachers give the kids juice and require them to drink all of it. If he doesn't drink his juice he is afraid he'll get in trouble. So, by the time the daycare personnel walk him and the other kids back to school, he is often in need of a restroom.

The other day Jill walked into Kristofer's class room at school at the end of the school day to pick him up.

Teacher (speaking in French): Mrs. Holmquist, did you get my phone message.

Jill: No, I didn't. What is the problem?

Teacher: Your son wanted me to call you. He had an accident.

There Kristofer was sitting on a little chair in the classroom. Apparently he had been sitting there all afternoon, too embarrassed to get up. The teacher was very kind. She knew what the problem was and just let him sit there without requiring him to join in the activities.

Apparently, his trick worked. None of the kids knew what was going on. Jill went up to Kristofer and put her arm around him to comfort him. But she felt worse about it than he did it seems. He actually didn't look very self-conscious. He was taking the whole thing in stride. He was even leaning over a tickling one of his friends standing near him.

By now most of the kids had left with their parent. Only a few kids were in the classroom, but Kristofer wouldn't get up until they had all left. Soon the last kid left with his father.

Jill: OK, sweetheart. Your teacher has an extra set of clothes for just such accident.

Kristofer: I don't want to change Mom.

Jill: You have to. You're all wet.

Kristofer: No mom. I'll walk home wet.

Jill: Kristofer, it is the middle of winter and you're are all wet, and we have a ten minute walk.

Kristofer: That's OK Mom.

Jill: People in the streets will be able to see that your pants are wet.

Kristofer: OK Mom. I'll change.

Jill: I'll help you change in the boy's room upstairs.

Kristofer: You can't help me Mom. You've never seen my penis.

Jill: Yes, I've seen it once or twice when you were younger. But you can change yourself anyway. Tie your jacket arouns your waist in case there are any kids outside the classroom. That was a trick I used when I was a kid and I wet my pants.

They both went upstairs to the boys room.

Kristofer: Mom. You stand guard so no one comes in.

Jill: OK.

That evening Kristofer confided in me that he had an accident at school.

Dad: Yes, accidents can happen sometime.

Kristofer: Yes.

Dad: Why can't you tell your teacher that you have to go to the bathroom?

Kristofer: I don't want them to know that I know any French.

Dad: Why.

Kristofer: Because if they know I know a little French the kids and the teacher will think I know a lot of French and will speak to me all the time. Right now they don't think I know any French so they don't talk to me so much.

Dad: That's better, huh?

Kristofer: Yes.

Dad: Well we have to think of a solution. You can't just not tell your teacher you have to go to the bathroom or this will happen again.

Kristofer: I got an idea. You draw a picture of a toilet on a piece of paper along with an arrow pointing up. I put it in my pocket. When I have to go to the bathroom I'll take it out of my pocket and show the teacher.

Dad: Why do you need the arrow pointing up.

Kristofer: Because the boy's bathroom is upstairs.

Dad: Why don't I just draw an arrow pointing up. Mom, can tell the teacher what the arrow means. That way if you loose

the piece of paper you can draw your own arrow on a piece of paper.

Kristofer: No that won't work.

Dad: Why?

Kristofer: The teacher will think I'm just pointing at the ceiling.

The next morning I drew for Kristofer a toilet with an arrow pointing up. I used as a model the toilet in our apartment.

Swiss toilets and American toilets are different. I wanted to make sure this toilet was a culturally correct toilet or the meaning might be lost. Actually, it was a pretty good looking toilet I drew. Just to make sure, I put the French word 'toilette' at the bottom of the paper under the picture of the toilet.

A few days passd.

Kristofer: Dad. I had to go to the bathroom today at school.

Dad: What did you do?

Kristofer: I took the picture of the toilet out of my pocket and showed the teacher.

Dad: Did she understand.

Kristofer: Yes, she shook her head yes, and I went upstairs to the bathroom.

I wouldn't be surprised that along with nodding her head yes, the teacher was also suppressing a smile as best she could.

Dad: Now we need to figure out a solution for the bathroom at the daycare.

Kristofer: I figured that out. I look out the door of the daycare and into the hall. If I see a light I know no kid is in the bathroom. (Apparently the light means the door is open to the hallway and so no kid is in the bathroom). Then I sneak out, go to the bathroom fast and get back to the classroom. I don't even ask the daycare teacher.

Dad: Well, you found a solution then.

Kristofer: Ya, a sneaky solution.

Pasta

Sent: Monday, January 25, 1999 11:07 AM

Jill and I have both told Kristofer the age-old advise of not walking off with any strangers. For instance if someone picks him up at school it can only be Jill or myself, his day-care teacher and a few select individuals who I mentioned by name. However, in this age of computer-aided graphics creation as seen on numerous movies and television shows, recognizing your parent's face is not enough. Perfectly recognizable faces can be peeled off to reveal a completely different person underneath.

Kristofer: How can I tell if it is you who came to pick me up at school?

Dad: What do you mean?

Kristofer: What if it looks like you but it isn't. What if you have a mask on?

Dad: You mean like in the movies when people peel off their face and there is another face underneath?

Kristofer: Yes. That's what I mean.

Dad: You'll be able to tell who I am by my voice.

Kristofer: What if it sounds like you but it isn't?

I knew that this line of reasoning wasn't going to get me anywhere and that I would need to think of something else.

Dad: What if we had a secret password?

Kristofer: What do you mean?

Dad: You and I will agree about a secret password that only you and I and Mom will know. If you are wondering if the person that is coming to pick you up is really me or Mom, you ask us what the secret password is. No one else will know it.

Kristofer: OK. What is the secret password?

Dad: How about 'spaghetti ?'

Kristofer laughed.

Kristofer: 'Spaghett?'

Dad: Yes, spaghetti.

Kristofer: OK. We talked again for about five minutes. I decided to ask him the secret password to see if he remembered.

Dad: Kristofer.

Kristofer: Yes Dad.

Dad: What is the secret password?

Kristofer: Pasta.

Dad: Pasta?

Kristofer: Yes. Pasta.

Dad: OK. Pasta it is.

Kristofer later told his mom the secret password. From then on there were no more concerns that the real mom and dad were not picking him up from school.

Some days later Kristofer wrote 'spaghetti' on a piece of white cardboard along with the word 'Dad'. I still have that piece of cardboard.

Bestest Dad in the World

Sent: Monday, January 25, 1999 8:54 AM

Last night we were watching a movie on video tape, "Raiders of the Lost Art", an action-adventure thriller. In one scene the hero is confronted with a cobra. I told Kristofer that I was almost bitten by a cobra when I was about ten years old, and probably would have died if it had bitten me. His reply, which was quite sincere, was,

"Then I wouldn't have had the bestest dad in the world."

I could have cried.

You Sometimes Miss your Mouth

Sent: Monday, January 25, 1999 8:51 AM

We got Kristofer got a sled for Christmas so Friday he and I were on the slopes only about 12 minutes drive from our house. Saturday Kristofer, Jill and I were on the slopes with Kristofer's sled and again Sunday Kristofer and I were back up there. We stopped first at the little cafe by the ski run and split a bowl of spaghetti.

Kristofer is not always careful when drinking his juice and sometimes spills. A few days ago he spilt three times in a day.

Dad: Kristofer, you really need to be careful when you drink your juice.

Kristofer: OK, Dad.

Dad: (Not wanting to be too hard on the guy). I know that six year olds spill a lot, but you do need to learn not to.

Kristofer: Did you spill a lot when you were six Dad.

Dad: Yes I did too. (Though I don't actually remember. I imagine I did).

Kristofer: Ya, when you get taller you sometimes miss your mouth.

Big, Smart, Handsome Guy

Sent: Monday, January 04, 1999 4:46 PM

Last night I gave Kristofer a big hug and said:

Dad: You're my big guy.

Kristofer: You're a big guy too dad.

Sensing this my continue a bit I thought I would get something positive out of him.

Dad: You're a big, smart guy.

Kristofer: YOU'RE a big, smart guy.

Dad: You're a big, smart handsome guy.

Kristofer: You're a big, smart handsome guy!

We both laugh. Soon he falls off to sleep.

Favorite and Worst Things

Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 1999 10:30 AM

Conversation Kristofer and I had a few nites ago before he fell asleep.

Dad: What was your favorite thing today?

This is a question we ask each other at bed time. We also ask each other what our worst thing was during the day. This way I can find out about things that are troubling him.

Kristofer: Sledding on the snow.

Dad: Yes, that was fun. Wasn't it?

Kristofer: Ya. I was going very fast. I was going so fast that I was going faster than the fastest runner. Isn't that right.

Dad: I wouldn't be surprised. What was your second favorite thing today ?

Kristofer: Sledding on the smooth snow.

Dad: You mean the soft, powdery snow.

The snow conditions the previous two days were rather icy. But Sunday it snowed again, so the snow was new, deeper and softer. Problem was, the sled would bog down in the soft snow and not go as fast.

Kristofer: Ya, powder snow. One problem though. Sometimes I couldn't go very fast or not at all. Like a rat in a fryin' pan.

Dad: Like a rat on a frying pan ?

Kristofer: Ya, our frying pan.

Kristofer: Dad.

Dad: Yes Kristofer.

Kristofer: What does a rat look like?

I described a rat to him and then we were silent for a few minutes.

Kristofer: In school is a "A" good or bad.

Dad: An "A" is very good.

Kristofer: Then if they (referring to his school in Neuchatel) give me an "F" I have a goodest idea. I WOULDN'T go to that school AGAIN.

Dad: Mmm. Sounds like a good idea

Dad: What was your worst thing today?

Kristofer: You breaking my toy.

Kristofer and I were playing with a rubber rocket while walking in Neuchatel the other day. I grabbed the rocket by it's fins which came off in my hands. Kristofer wasn't very happy with me about it.

Dad: That wasn't today. That was the other day.

Kristofer: Yes, but I thought about it today, and that was the worst thing that happened today.

Dad: Oh, yes, I see. Yes, I suppose thinking about a bad thing counts.

You Don't Know Your Whole Life

Sent: Friday, January 22, 1999 6:15 AM

A few times Kristofer has had too much to drink before going to bed. He is a fairly heavy sleeper (unlike his dad and mom) and so hasn't awaken in time to make it to the bathroom. Our conversation when Kristofer was in his bed last nite.

Kristofer: Dad, I'm thirsty.

Dad: Well, Kristofer. I don't want to give you anything more to drink because you've had a few 'accidents' at night.

Kristofer: But Dad. That doesn't happen any more.

Actually it happened only about three weeks ago or so. But to a six year old that is ancient history.

Dad: Well, it could still happen if you drink too much before going to bed.

Kristofer: No Dad. It won't happen again.

Kristofer pauses for a number of seconds.

Kristofer: Actually Dad. It might happen again because you don't know your whole life.

Dad: Kristofer, that was a very wise thing to say! You're right. We don't know what is going to happen in the future.

Kristofer: You mean 'wise' like a 'wise man?

Dad: Yes, that's what I mean.

Dad is Handsome

Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 1999 5:01 AM

Two days ago or so Kristofer was kicking his soccer ball in the living room. The soccer ball came dangerously close to a Chinese ceramic on the bookshelf. (Kristofer loves soccer. We often go down into the ancient streets of Neuchatel just below our apartment and kick the ball over the cobblestones, which we were going out to do in a few minutes).

Dad: Kristofer, I've told you NOT to play ball in the living room. You could have broken that Chinese ceramic and it is very expensive.

Kristofer: How much?

Dad: I don't know. Maybe 500 dollar.

I didn't have any idea really, but it seemed like a nice sum to throw out there for discussion.

Kristofer: Wow. OK, Dad. Let's go.

I thought I might as well throw in a little family history here.

Dad: It used to belong to my grandma and grandpa.

We put on our coats and headed out the door and started down the stone staircase.

Kristofer: What did your grandma and grandpa look like.

Dad: They were both very nice looking people. My grandfather, Oscar, was very handsome and my grandmother .was very pretty.. .

Kristofer: Did he look like you, Dad?

Dad: No, we didn't look that much like each other.

Kristofer: I think you are VERY handsome too Dad.

Dad: Well, THANK YOU, Kristofer. You are very good looking yourself.

In another minute we were kicking the ball back and forth in the chilly evening air of Neuchatel. Kristofer was having a great time. I was feeling a rather handsome that evening.

Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 1999 3:52 AM

Choclaty on the Bottom

Jill and Kristofer decided to make chocolate chip cookies with chocolate chips brought over from the States a few weeks ago. Incredible smells of cookies meandered from the kitchen to where I was sitting in the living studying where I was studuying my French in front of the fireplace. Soon Kristofer came running to the living room, very excited about the first cookies coming hot from the oven. He held two in his hands but before he would give them to me he gave me instructions on the proper way of eating them.

Kristofer: Careful dad, they're a little choclaty on the bottom.

He turns over a cookie and indeed the chocolate chips on the bottom were still hot and runny.

Kristofer: When I get crumbs and chocolate on my hands what I do is wipe my hands on the back of my pants. That way you don't see the chocolate on your pants in front.

He turns his body around, sticks out his little butt, and twists his head around so he can see the back of his pants.

Kristofer: Look, see! There's some crumbs and chocolate on the back of my pants. I'll get you some milk.

With a dash he runs back to the kitchen.

Keep Breathing

Sent: Monday, January 18, 1999 9:04 AM

Kristofer knows that people die and that it happens to all of us someday. Thus we've had one or two discussion on heaven. Though Kristofer is not overly-concerned about this, it does worry him from time-to-time. The nite before last I was lying next to him in his bed just before he was to go to sleep. We had talked about the best things and the worst things that had happened to us that day. We were then quiet for a time. I was hoping that he had fallen off to sleep so I could do a few things around the house and get ready for bed myself. Apparently, I was too quiet for Kristofer.

Kristofer: Dad.

Dad: Yes, Kristofer.

Kristofer: Keep breathing.

Dad: What do you mean keep breathing.

Kristofer: I thought you were dead.

Dad: OK. I'll keep breathing. You keep breathing too.

Kristofer: OK Dad.

We both laughed about both of us breathing. Five minutes later he was asleep.

Guys and Girls

Sent: Wednesday, January 13, 1999 7:03 AM

I was putting Kristofer to be last night, and we had gone through our usual dialog of the best thing and the worst thing that happened during the day. Kristofer wants to prolong our conversation further before he falls to sleep.

Kristofer: Dad, let's talk about something else.

Dad: What do you have in mind?

Kristofer: Anything. You chose.

Dad: OK. Why is it that when boys are young like you, they don't like girls so much, but when they are older they like girls and may even kiss them?

This is something he's seen on TV a lot naturally, so I was wondering what he thought about it.

Kristofer: Well, older boys get to like girls. A boy and a girl like talking to each other, and then they might get to like each other a lot... even if they don't want to.

Dad: I see. Well, is it true that younger boys don't like girls.

Kristofer: Yes. We don't like girls.

Kristofer: Let's talk about something else. Pick something that is easy.

Dad: Well, let me see... I'm trying to think of something that you don't know already, but won't be too hard.

Kristofer: How about... how milk is made in cow?

Dad: How IS milk made in cow?

Kristofer laughs.

Kristofer: I don't know! That wasn't an easy one for me. How do they do it?

Dad: I don't know how they do it either !

Kristofer: You don't know that one ! We both don't know it !

We both laugh. Soon he turns over and falls asleep.

Split Pea Soup

Sent: Monday, January 11, 1999 7:52 AM

A few nights ago we had split pea soup for dinner. Kristofer looks into his bowl of green split pea soup.

Kristofer: Yuck. I don't think I like this. How many do I have to eat?

When Kristofer doesn't like something or he doesn't want to eat everything on his plate -or in his bowl -he asks how many forkfuls or spoonfuls he is required to eat. We also had something else on the menu for dinner that night so I was less concerned about how much split pea soup he ate.

Dad: Three spoonfuls.

Kristofer: OK. Three. That's all.

Kristofer takes the first spoonful and crunches up his nose.

Kristofer: I don't like this.

He takes the second and third spoonfuls.

Kristofer: I don't think this stuff is very good for me . . . Can I leave now?

Dad: Yes, you can leave.

Shark's Tooth

Sent: Thursday, January 07, 1999 11:21 AM

I was getting Kristofer ready for bed two nites ago. He had just taken off his shirt, shoes and socks. Around his neck was a string from which dangled a small white shark's tooth, silhouetted against his small chest. He is quite proud of his shark's tooth.

Dad: Kristofer, please take off your shark's tooth. I don't want the string to choke you during the night.

Kristofer: Ya. I could get killed.

Dad: Yes, that's right.

Kristofer: I look so cool with my pants on and with my shark's tooth on.

I don't know what the pants had to do with it other than he hadn't taken them off yet. He put his hands on his hips and jutted out his small chest in admiration of his coolnes.

Dad: Yes, you look very cool. Now get your sharks tooth off and your pants off and climb into bed.

Kristofer: Don't worry dad. My throat is scared of my shark's tooth. He holds the pointed end of the shark's tooth up to his neck - and his head, neck and the rest of his upper body move immediately away from the shark's tooth.

Dad: OK hurry up.

Kristofer takes off his pants, throws them onto the chair (he usually throws them onto the floor), takes off his sharks tooth, and places it on his dresser and climbs into bed.

Heaven

Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 1999 9:51 AM

Conversation last nite at Kristofer's bed.

Dad: What was your favorite thing today Kristofer.

Kristofer: You know what I'm going to say, Dad.

Dad: You're going to say that I'm always the one who is to start first.

Kristofer: Right.

Dad: OK. My favorite thing was seeing Carey and Holly, and Meimei and Steve at Ikea because I don't get a chance see them very often.

Carey, my brother and Holly his wife were visiting from Germany. Meimei, my sister and her husband Stever were visiting from the United States.

Dad: What was your favorite thing?

Kristofer: My favorite thing was playing with my toy.

Kristofer saw everyone at Ikea too, so his toys won out as favorite thing.

Dad: What toys were you playing with today.

Kristofer: I was fighting with my soldier.

Dad: With your new castle that you got for Christmas.

Kristofer: No, we were fighting on the couch.

Dad: Oh. Well do you want to know my worst thing today?

Kristofer: Yes.

Dad: My worst thing was finding out today that a friend of mine died.

Kristofer: What friend died?

Dad: The friend who was here a couple weeks ago whose name is Moggy. It is very sad when you find out that a friend died.

Kristofer: Dad.

Dad: Yes, Kristofer.

Kristofer: What if you're not dead when they get you to the graveyard?

I knew where this was leading. He was afraid of being put into a hole before being dead.

Dad: Well they always know that you are dead before they bring you to the graveyard.

Kristofer: How Dad?

Dad: A doctor checks you first to make sure you're dead.

Kristofer: You mean like with x-rays and that thing they put on your chest.

Dad: Yes, that's what I mean.

I decided not to mention that they drain all your body fluids first and replace them with a embalming fluid, so there is no chance in a million that you wouldn't be already dead.

Kristofer: What happens to you when you die?

Dad: Well, you would go to heaven.

Kristofer: How do you get to heaven.

Dad: Well. There are two parts to you. The body that you can see, and the spirit that you can't see. When you die the body stays behind and the spirit goes to heaven and you meet up with Jesus there. And you get a new body.

Kristofer: And the new body can't get hurt or anything?

Dad: Right. And there is grass to run on and trees to climb, and you will have a great time playing and doing other things.

Figuring that Jesus is more of an abstract idea than good ole Dad. I thought that I would put myself into the picture. Kristofer already knows that everyone dies sooner or later and that I would probably go before him.

Dad: And, you get to see all your family and friends who died before you. Like, I will be seeing my dad and my grandmother and grandfather when I get to heaven. They and I will have a good time talking. When you die, I'll be there already waiting for you. And, you know what is going to happen?

Kristofer: What Dad?

Dad: I'm going to have my arms open wide, and you are going to run to me and jump in my arms, and I'm going to swing you around in circles -just like we do here.

Kristofer: But Dad. What if I'm grown up?

Dad: Well, you'll still be my son, and I'll still be your dad and so I'll still want to swing you around and you'll want to be swung around. And, I won't have a bad back then, so I'll be able to do it.

Kristofer: OK Dad.

Trash Can at School

Kristofer told me about an incident at school when I was putting him to bed last week.

Kristofer: There were mean kids at school today.

Dad: What mean kids?

Kristofer: Two big kids were trying to put my friend in a trash can.

Dad: Why were they doing that? Were they just being mean or did something happen.

Kristofer: They got a little wet. Everyone gets a little wet sometime. You get wet when it's raining or when you take a bath.

Dad: Yes, that's true. But how did they get a little wet.

Kristofer: My friend splashed water on them from the fountain, but everyone gets a little wet sometimes.

Dad: What happened next?\

Kristofer: I closed the lid of the trashcan so they couldn't put my friend in it.

Dad: That's very good of you to help out your friend like that.

Birthday Presents

Sent: Thursday, December 24, 1998 5:10 AM

Conversation Kristofer and I had the other day as we were walking through Neuchatel to our apartment:

Kristofer: Dad

Dad: Yes, Kristofer.

Kristofer: If you tell me what my birthday presents are I won't remember. I don't remember things very well.

Dad: I understand what you are saying, but just in case you might remember what your birthday presents are, I better not tell you.

Kristofer: OK, Dad.

Goosebumps

circa 1998

We had returned to Neuchatel from a Scottish church potluck in Lausanne with American and Canadian friends, had parked our car in the designated blue zone for our neighborhood, and were walking home. It was midnight and the night was cold.

"Dad."

"Yes, Kristofer."

"Do goosebumps get goosebumps?"

"No, only people get goosebumps."

"Can your scratch goosebumps off?"

"No you can't scratch them off. They go away when you get warmer. Are you cold?"

"Ya, a little bit."

Saving Energy

Sent: Thursday, December 7, 1999 5:10 AM

A conversation that Kristofer and I had while walking through the streets of Neuchatel a few weeks ago on a Friday afternoon:

""Dad."

"Yes Kristofer."

"I shouldn't brush my teeth tonight."

"Why is that?"

"I need to save my energy."

"Why do you need to save your energy?"

"You know that I have a soccer match tomorrow with my team."

"Yes, I know. You are playing a team from another Swiss town."

"Right. Well, I need to save my energy so that I can run faster and kick harder tomorrow morning."

"I don't think you need to worry about that. You'll get all your energy back when you sleep tonight."

"Oh. OK Dad."

The soccer match never happened. It was rained out.

Fingers in the Head

Sent: Thursday, January 17, 1999 5:10 AM

Kristofer and I were having a hot fudge sunday at a MacDonalds in the center of Neuchatel a few days ago. I had just picked him up from school and thought I would give both he and myself a little treat before walking home. We sat for a while, eating our sundays, lost in our own thoughts. I then thought it was a little dumb just sitting there and not talking, so I asked Kristofer about school.

"Kristofer, how was school today?"

"Fine."

"What did you do in school?"

"Same stuff we always do."

"Well, let me know what you do. I'm not sure I know."

"We practiced our writing."

"Do you have music in class too?"

(I asked him this because he often is singing French songs at home.)

"Sometimes. Not everyday though."

"Do you add up numbers."

"Yes, we did that too. We add up numbers that we can count on our fingers. The really BIG kids add up other numbers."

"What numbers are those?

"Numbers where you run out of fingers."

"How do the big kids add up numbers when they don't have enough fingers?"

Kristofer thought for a few seconds, laughed and said,"They count with fingers in their heads!"

Good way to describe doing calculations in one's head I thought. It made sense.

NOTES